Lethargy

When I attended the kickoff meeting for the official 3 day event more than a month ago, I remember being warned that at some point during the course of our training and fundraising, we would be discouraged and want to give up. I scoffed and figured I was SO fired up and SO dedicated that I wouldn't have a problem with my desire.

Turns out I was wrong.

I'm a full month into training now, and the old problems I've had with my left knee has flared and invited my right knee to join the party. I'm walking 18 miles this week-3 miles on Monday, 4 miles on Wednesday, then 6 miles on Friday, followed by another 4 mile walk on Saturday. It's really the back-to-back walks that hurt me the most-those are the ones I aim to complete outside, which means I've started rising well before dawn Friday and Saturday mornings to lace up my Susan G. Komen sneakers and walk the dark streets.

This week has been particularly distressing. I've felt lethargic, achy, worn down, disoriented, and confused the last couple days. I know I'm sleeping enough, I'm eating healthy, and I'm continuing to exercise regularly, but this week it has been so difficult. Last night I woke up half a dozen times because my arms were completely numb and leaden, and I was forced to move around and flex them to try to get them to get some feeling back before I could fall asleep. This afternoon I finally called the doctor because my gut is telling me something is 'off'. The receptionist asked me my address and phone number...both answers I should be able to give without hesitation, but I had to take a moment to really consider both questions before I could rattle off the appropriate sequence of numbers.

I'm sure my family would love me to add that I've also been extremely irritable. Poor kids. Poor husband.

All in all, I'm feeling incredibly discouraged. I quickly discovered that training wouldn't be easy, but I didn't expect it to be this HARD. It's still only walking. I'm a healthy, physically active YOUNG woman who should be able to stand up to this kind of physical exertion, but I'm really struggling. My fundraising isn't doing as well as I had hoped it would be doing, and I'm feeling very defeated.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to see the doctor, and even if he has no answers for me I'm really praying I get my mojo back. I've never been the type of woman to back away from a challenge, but retreat is a tempting possibility in this moment.

Training

I officially started training a week ago, on a snowy Toledo morning. On my way in to the YMCA, I was...less than excited...about the prospect of 3 monotonous miles on Ye Olde Treadmill. Nevertheless, I reminded myself that I made a commitment, and I need to stick with it. How can I expect people I know to donate time, money, goods, and resources to my cause if I'm not willing to put the work in myself? So...off I went.I hopped on the first available treadmill, and ignoring the sounds of my best friends pumping weights in the free weight center across the room, I settled in for the walk. 3 endless, slow miles stretched in front of me.

I may have started to panic just a little bit.

For posterity, I asked a friend to snap some pictures of me on the machine. Day 1, 3 miles!
After a while, the boredom became overwhelming, and I shot up the speed on the treadmill and jogged the second mile. Afterward, my joints and my feet were sore for days, an event I haven't repeated since then for fear of repeating the same pain.
Finally, finally, finally 42 minutes later I was done with my first 3 mile walk. Sweaty, tired, and triumphant.
As I walked through my first mile, I was struck again by what a journey this event is going to be. I imagined the event...walking through streets lined with pink, with survivors and family members on all sides, cheering and supporting us. I teared us as I imagined the emotion of the moment, the emotion I was feeling just training.

This walk is going to be a journey, people. I added up the miles I'll be walking including 24 weeks of training and the event: the number came out to a staggering 645.

Every step I walk in the next 23 weeks is a step toward a world where NOBODY has to deal with the effects of this disease, and I am HONORED to be a part of it.

Please consider donating to my fundraising minimum here.

Hunting

We've spent endless, endless hours online looking at houses in the Columbus area in the last couple of weeks. Like everyone else, we're trying to balance our wants and desires with the more practical matters of location, school district, and oh yeah...budget. Thankfully, there are LOTS of properties listed that meet (most) of our needs and also follow within our price range, and recently we turned to a real estate agent we found through our church to help us with the process. This morning she sent us the first batch of listings she culled for us, and within moments of opening up the MLS search, I found The. One.

THE HOUSE.

The one I haven't been able to stop thinking about all morning. I have looked at houses until my eyeballs have begun to bleed...but NONE of them have gotten me excited like this one.

I'm not even going to post a link to it-because it's THAT fabulous, and I'd be devastated if somebody else found it and snatched it out of my hands before we've had a chance to go see it. The plan yesterday had been to find a weekend in April that we could abandon the kids with friends and spend an epic day looking at real estate in Columbus. This is still likely the plan, but now I'm paranoid that somebody-some JERK-is going to make an offer on MY house before we get there.

I'm doing lots of deep breathing today. I'm trying to be patient and remember that just like every other aspect of this job search and relocation-it will fall into place.

While I'm waiting for it to fall into place, though, nobody better track mud onto MY carpet. The last thing I want to do after we move in is steam clean.

Returned

I haven't blogged in what feels like ages, and honestly am not sure if any of my old readers remain to see my words. I've been lost for the last 30 minutes re-reading old posts and re-living different facets of my life. I think I've missed blogging, and am going to try to step back in and chronicle this crazy life we lead.

The winter here in Toledo this year has been mild in every sense of the word-temperatures hovering in the 30's or 40's most days, with lots of rain and very little snow. Today is the last day of February, and I'm beginning to think we really will escape the winter months without any snow days...a feat I haven't experienced since I moved to Ohio 5 years ago. This will also be our last Toledo winter, as Kevin has received a job offer for a 3 year position in Columbus, Ohio. We're currently in the throes of house hunting and school searching, which is a fun sidelight to the busyness of life.

Perhaps the central focus of my life these days (aside from my husband, the kids, the house, and wiping many many many many things every day) is this:

I've wanted to do this for a long time. A friend mentioned it in passing about a year ago, and I latched onto the idea of walking then and haven't let go. I didn't find out in enough time to participate last August, but this year I have been rabidly excited about experiencing this amazing event. I'm in the throes of fundraising (holy COW that is a lot of money!) and will be starting training next week, an experience I'd dearly like to chronicle here.

All in all, life is so good. The kids are crazy and life keeps my head spinning, but I'm in love with what we're experiencing. I'm in love with my family in a way that makes my heart expand beyond what I thought it was capable. It's impossible NOT to be happy, and I'm so grateful.