Family Picture

I wanted to post this picture because this is the first family photo that has been taken in about 3 years. It is so seldom that my whole family is gathered together, that we have to jump at the opportunity to snap pictures whenever we can. I was glad that my sister made the trip from Las Vegas for Thanksgiving. It couldn't have been easy for her, with her two broken ankles, to make the drive to Utah and the subsequent flight home last night, but I'm glad that she was there at our Thanksgiving celebration.
Looking at this picture, I can't help but think about what's missing. It's times like Thursday that I miss my older brother with an ache that is almost tangible. He loved large family gatherings, and would probably have been doing bunny ears behind sombody's head in this photo. It is a comfort to know that I will see him someday what all things are made clear, but on this day, I will miss him. I can't believe sometimes that it's been almost 7 years since he died. Somedays it seems like he just left, and then other days, it seems like he was just a figment of my imagination. It seems like I imagined that I had this great brother, and that he loved me and looked out for me. It's strange how a death affects the dynamics of your family, it makes everybody realign their position, even unconciously, to fill the void that this person has created. You all feel obliged to fill the spot that has been vacated, the roles that are now available. I think the loss still reverberates throughout our family as we struggle to know how we fit together without him. I count my blessings that I was able to be a part of the life he led, and that he counted me among those closest to him. He truly was, and still is, one of the great.