Saturday, April 11

One Year

I remember distinctly the moment that I realized the date Ammon died. When he died, I had a small 'page a day' calender for left-handed people. I set it on the computer desk, and faithfully flipped the page every day. There would be an anecdote, a fact, or a quote from or about a left handed person on each page. The date after he died, Saturday, I was sitting at the computer desk doing something. I glanced at my page-a-day calender, and realized that I hadn't flipped it since the day before, and took mental note of the date.

April 11th, 2008, I thought. April 11th is a day that will forever and always be part of my history. How strange that just 24 hours ago, April 11th was just another day.

The calender sat on my desk for a short time after that, but I could never bring myself to rip off April 11th and throw it away. Eventually, I put the calender away. It still sits, in a drawer, waiting to move forward from that day.

I suppose in many ways, so am I.

5 comments:

Sandra said...

Victoria, I can't even imagine being in your situation. I can't imagine losing such a vital part of myself. The last year seems to have passed so quickly--it seems we were just hearing that you had lost your sweetheart. I just wanted to offer you love and ((hugs)) and support today. I know that any words really are not enough, there is nothing to say to ease the pain that you have endured. I know that in my situation I have felt so much comfort in the love and support that have rained down upon me and I hope that you can feel that same comfort. Know that you are loved and that there is a large group of women who love you and are thinking of you today on this horrible anniversary. Take care of yourself and your sweet children today and don't worry about anything else! ((hugs))
Sandra

Unknown said...

As I was driving this morning I thought of what day it is and remembered. I prayed for you. And will continue to. *hugs*

Kellie said...

I've thought about you several different times during the day. It seems like it can't possibly be a year already, but in other ways, it seems like forever ago. Many many hugs and prayers coming your way.

Anonymous said...

you have been on my mind alot today. I haven't done anything that hasn't made me think of you in some way. I don't have any great words. But I can offer friendship and prayers for you and the kids. Please know that I am thinking of you and praying for you too on this very though day.

Debbie

Jayme said...

Victoria, I've thought a lot about you this weekend as you complete your "firsts". It's the first Easter, too, isn't it? Anyway, I've been praying that although this weekend is undoubtedly hard, that you would feel some comfort and peace.

I hope you went to relief society today. If you didn't I would encourage you to read today's lesson. It touched me so deeply and I thought of you the whole time. I hope that it did, in fact, provide you with some comfort.

I hope you have had a beautiful Easter weekend. You are so loved.