Thanksgiving

The trip south went well. After I kissed my kids goodbye on Tuesday, a flurry of final preparations commenced. I made a quick stop at a birthday party, then came home to do laundry, finish packing, clean the house, and study for a Microbiology test. I headed out the door earlier than normal Wednesday morning, dropped off a gallon of milk with the Sister Missionaries, made it to an 8:30 appointment with my academic advisor, and made it to class in time to complete my test. I was elated after the test to discover that the lab for the day had been canceled--and quickly left campus to drop a few things off at the library, take a house key over to my next door neighbor, make my bed, and do a final survey of the house. Russ had loaded the car while I was in class, and we were on the road south by 11:15.

After a few quick stops for gas and food, we made it to Dothan, Alabama by 11:30 that night. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and crawled in bed with my boys to snuggle with them until about 6 am on Thanksgiving--at which point they gleefully decided it was time to be wide awake. I was a bit bleary-eyed, but happy to be on vacation and spend time with family, so I pretended not to be grumpy.

Thanksgiving day was good. There were a lot of people--and after a few intense grief-related moments, I was able to enjoy the holiday. Nobody knows how to lay out a spread of food like a Southern family, and I'm thrilled and surprised to report I'm up a measly 2 pounds from the trip--I had braced myself for much, much more than that.

Thursday night I headed even further south with Kadon and Brooklyn, and spent the night at Ammon's sister Lisa's house. I collapsed on the couch early, and got about two hours of sleep before Brooklyn decided that the hours between midnight and 2 am were not for sleeping.

Huh. Nobody informed me. I didn't do so well pretending not to be grumpy that time.

By the time the rest of the clan arrived on Friday afternoon, we had time to eat lunch and dinner. Then, the girls got pretty-fied and headed out for an evening at the mall and a showing of New Moon. Then, Lisa and I took the old(er) people back to her house, and headed back out to the local Howl at the Moon. It was great--and I can verify that they have tasty Diet Coke in stock. I know, because I drank a fair amount of it between choruses of 'Sweet Caroline' and 'Great Balls of Fire'. Good times.

Saturday, oh Saturday. Saturday found us at the beach. And the mall, again. I have pictures, some of the only I took on the trip. When my camera stops being spooty and agrees to play nicely with my laptop, I will post them.

Saturday evening after dinner, the troops de-barked from Florida. Angela, Mary, Angela's kids, and Jeremy traveled until late Saturday night, then stopped for a hotel. Russ, Kadon, Brooklyn, and I made an intrepid journey through the night, and arrived home at about 6 am Sunday morning. Notwithstanding the head-shaking and arm-pinching I engaged in just after 3 am in an effort to keep myself awake and driving safely, it was a good trip.

Today, I got the tree up. Seeing as how the Christmas tree was such a sore subject last year, I'm proud of the accomplishment this year. It's erect, has lights strung on it, and ornaments hanging from it's branches--and all of this accomplished without a meltdown.

Now, to finish the last week of classes for this quarter strong, and the season can truly begin.

Safety

It's a well known fact that I have safety issues. As I've written here before, I lost my older brother to a car accident 3 weeks after I got married, and my husband to a motorcycle accident not quite 8 years later.

I don't handle the threat of danger or accident well. My children wear helmets religiously, aren't allowed in other people's houses, and will be in car seats and or boosters until they graduate from college. Whenever they fall, I hold my breath. The nurse at Jeremy's school called a few weeks ago, to let me know he had fallen on the playground. "He's fine, back in class" she assurred me. "I just wanted to let you know." I had to call her back, I had to know if he fell and hit his head. Once I knew that the wounds were only to his knees and the palms of his hands, I didn't give it a second thought. Once, Brooklyn fell off a small bench on the kitchen floor, and landed face first, where she laid still for just a moment. It felt like eternity to me, and I spent the rest of the evening trying to calm my racing heart. I am on edge when my children aren't with me, I'm terrified something will happen and I won't be there.

Add to my safety issues a control problem and, and you have a recipe ripe with the possibility of disaster.

I just buckled my children into my sister-in-law Angela's truck and kissed them goodbye. Her three children, my three children, my mother-in-law Mary and Angela are going to spend the next two days driving from Ohio to Alabama, where we will celebrate Thanksgiving with Mary's side of the family on Thursday. I have a class tomorrow morning, and am unable to leave much before noon, and during the planning stages of this trip the adults decided it made more sense for the children to leave today and break the trip into two days, while my father-in-law Russ and I will leave late tomorrow morning and drive through in one stretch.

I've been growing more and more apprehensive about this trip. I do well with my children being away from me, especially when they're with family members--Mary in particular. I also do well when my children take trips in the car, but only as long as I'm the one doing the driving. It's not that I'm the world's greatest driver, and I don't trust anybody else to keep them safe. On the contrary, I'm actually probably one of the worst drivers in the family. It's more the fact that they aren't with me, and my grief-addled brain sees endless miles of interstate, with endless possibilities for tragedy. It doesn't matter that Angela drives an enormous Suburban--built like a tank and nearly as safe as one. It doesn't matter that my children are all buckled in car seats, where they will remain for the entirety of the trip. It DOES matter that I'm not with them. That I can't see them to KNOW that they are buckled in correctly. As I helped Angela secure Brooklyn's car seat in the Suburban, I begged both Angela and Mary not to loosen the straps on her car seat.

"I know they're tight." I said. "I know you think I'm silly and maybe even crazy, but they're set exactly where they should be. Please don't loosen them."

I'm sure they think I'm silly. I'm sure they get frustrated with my incessant need to be in control of my children, ensure for myself that they're safe at all times. The thing is--I know that sometimes things don't work out. In an instant, my life could change. I try to keep my brain from rolling over the possibilities--that I just kissed my children goodbye, waved from the driveway, and may never see them alive again. I try not to see the Suburban; on the interstate, flipping in the air over and over again, before it comes crashing back down to the ground and destroys my will to live. I try not to imagine that somebody will get run over in the parking lot at McDonald's, or that a door will open on the road and somebody will fall out. I try to be optimistic, and believe that I will meet up with my children in Alabama tomorrow night, find them sleeping soundly, and that I will curl up next to them and look forward to Thursday morning when I can hear all about their travels. It's hard, though. It's hard not to imagine the worst, when the worst had already happened. When I have seen life end in a moment.

I cried as I hugged Angela goodbye today. "Please, be safe." I pleaded. "They're my babies."

It's just a road trip. I know that. I'm trying to convince myself it will be fine, but as I sit alone in my living room, everything in the world that means anything to me is miles away. They're traveling at 80 mph, on a road full of people who don't understand how much I have to lose. I'm counting the hours until we're reunited again.

This Week

It's been an eventful week, so I thought rather than try to re-cap all of it, I would simply write down my to-do list for this week:

*Complete budget. Contemplate highway robbery in order to finance Christmas.

*Happen upon a steal of a deal for a new (old) freezer on Craigslist. Rationalize purchase, make pick-up arrangements, and gleefully patronize the frozen food aisle at Kroger.

*Damage phone, this time with an unfortunate (and accidental, obviously) dip in the toilet. Curse profusely.

* Encase phone in rice for 14 hours. When it shows no sign of life, commence slightly frantic search through various Internet venues to buy new phone.

*Find a steal of a phone on Craigslit, meet gentleman selling it that evening. Briefly contemplate his attractiveness, then become thwarted by the gleaming silver ring on his finger. Dang it.

*Learn to efficiently text on new (old) Blackberry. Not as easy as I thought it would be.

*Strenuously consider changing wireless and Internet providers. Make many phone calls in this vein. Remain undecided.

*Visit pediatrician. For the third time. Find another (0r same) ear infection. Ingest more antibiotics. (Not me, the baby)

*Sing. With friends. Enjoy it.

*Play new sheet music, gleefully printed from Sally Deford's free website.

*Have a missionary moment.

*Tell actual missionaries about missionary moment over Stephen's and popcorn.

*Attend class. Wash, rinse, repeat. Again.

*While you're at it, wash several other things.

*Melt down at preschool, in front of Kadon's teacher. This is fun, repeat again on Friday.

*Drive for 3.5 hours to attend a 2.5 hour New Moon Premiere party. Eat cake, enjoy.

*Attend New Moon with friends Saturday afternoon. Enjoy.

*Exercise. Wash, rinse, repeat. Several times.

*Manage general crankiness, fussiness, and fighting.

*Wipe things profusely. Including: Noses, butts, counters, and feet.

Cell Phone

Last night I was watching a movie, and had a large water bottle filled with ice water on the coffee table in front of me. I set my cell phone down on the table-near the bottle, but not right next to it. It sat there for a couple hours, then I picked both the cell phone and water bottle up to put them away and go to bed. Apparently my water bottle had 'sweat' profusely during my movie, and actually leaked water on the table, which traveled to where my phone was sitting and got it quite wet. I immediately took it apart and immersed it in a bowl of rice, but this means I'm only reachable through email until at least this afternoon. Hopefully the world keeps spinning on it's axis for at least a few more hours!

Update: It seems to be working just fine after spending about 12 hours in the rice bath--hooray!

Cherry Chocolate

Strange things happen when I get bored sometime around midnight...

These pictures don't do the red justice. I was hoping by sitting outside in the sun that it would capture the full effect, but it really didn't. I was nervous last night and apprehensive this morning, but I really like it at this point. I went to a baptism at the church this morning, and everybody had really positive things to say--and it's a nice change of pace. I think it's fun to experiment, anyway!

Because It's Right

This week has been Take a Friend Week at the YMCA I attend. I made several phone calls to some of my friends that don't have memberships, and tried to round up a crew to go try out some classes. I didn't have much success, but I did find one friend who faithfully came to all but one of the classes I did this week--and that was a LOT! I'm already impressed with her intellect, her grace, and her sense of humor--and especially her friendship, and her willingness to spend basically every morning this week at the gym with me was icing on the cake.

Today, though, that icing got even thicker--and turned into chocolate. It was awesome.

We attended spinning this morning, the second time for my friend and many more than that for me. I have noticed in the past that this instructor tends to choose music that has swear words in it--a fact that I attribute both to the style of 'fitness' music that is available, and an insensitivity on her part to the meaning behind the words. I don't think this instructor chooses the music she does to be offensive, I think she simply doesn't realize that to some of us--it is. In the past I have been mildly irritated that some of the music choices make me uncomfortable, but I have never considered doing anything about it. I assumed myself to be in the minority, and let my desire to not 'rock the boat' win.

Today, my friend showed me what true commitment and true morals look like. About midway through the 40 minute class, a particularly offensive song started playing. I thought to myself 'Boy, this is really vulgar!', and kept pedaling. As soon as I finished the thought, I glanced to my left to see my friend dismounting her bike and walking out of the room. Chagrined, I wondered if her exit was a reaction to the song--a fact that was confirmed when a few seconds later the teacher followed her out in the hall to see if she was okay, and reported back that my friend had left because she couldn't stand the music. I was embarrassed--both for the teacher and the YMCA, but also for myself. I should have also walked out of that class. I should have made my stand weeks ago, before I brought a friend with me to experience it.

My friend stayed out the rest of the class. After we finished exercising for the day, I went to the front desk and politely but firmly requested that the instructors in general, but particularly this one, be made aware that their music choices are not acceptable. I told the manager that I don't choose to listen to that type of music at home, and I don't wish to be subjected to it at the gym either. They were apologetic, and promised to talk to the instructor.

I love this instructor. I have great respect for her, and even now I'm a bit worried that she will suspect the complaint came from either me or my friend--and I'm ashamed to admit that I'm embarrassed a bit about that. I shouldn't be, though. I stood up for what was right--but it took a friend of mine making a tough choice to show me I needed to do it. Today, I'm grateful for that friend.

I'll be especially grateful if the lyrics of the songs we listen to in spinning improve.

Basement-Final Product

To begin the final set of basement photos, I took pictures of the guest room. Somehow that has been forgotten before, so here it is:

These are a bit out of order, but I don't want to take the time to fix them today. For this picture I'm actually standing on the mattress, taking the picture toward the door that leads to the rest of the basement.

Here I'm standing in front of the dresser, taking a picture of the small closet in the room. This close is my main storage in the house, and Mary was kind enough to make this curtain to hang in front of it right after we moved in.

I'm standing just inside the doorway here, and this small window leads toward the back yard. This small window is also the reason that this room will never be suitable as a full-time bedroom--to small for somebody to crawl out, too small for a fireman or other rescue-worker to crawl in. Plus, it's too far away from my bedroom-but it makes a great guest room for the occasional overnight visit!

A different angle of the closet and the side of the room.

And finally, totally out of order, the doorway leading into the bedroom, with the bed. Maybe someday we'll actually get a frame...

Again, these pictures are totally out of order. The wall that is still white is where the bedroom is, and the cement area on the right is where the laundry and the stairs are located.

I added this chalkboard paint after Brooklyn colored on the wall with a sharpie. Thankfully, it was before I painted, so it was a matter of several coats of Kilz and the brown paint, but I thought it best to give her a designated 'spot' to draw, rather than try to fight it. It's been fun--this section just needs a strip of wood border around it to finish it off.

I'm standing in the TV area here.

The opposite angle.

These pictures are pretty self-explanatory, since I've already posted extensively about the basement. All in all, I'm really pleased with how the color came out. I mentioned to a friend of mine that I was getting ready to buy paint for my basement, and she offered about 3 gallons of paint that they had leftover from their house. I worried that it would be too dark for my basement, but as you can see it worked out great. It's such a large space that the darker paint closed it in a bit and made it more cozy. Plus, the price of 'free' can't be beat.

Re-Committing

I'm going to re-commit to this blog thing. I swear, I'm going to be better at posting. At least, until something more interesting comes along............oh look! shiny things!........
This is how our October started out--the day after Brooklyn turned 2, Jennica Lynn came into the world. She's the tiniest addition to our extended family, and Brooklyn was pretty excited to get a peek at her. She's quite good with the baby, and asks to hold her every time we see her. With much supervision, she usually does a pretty good job.

We also attended the Pumpkin-Decorating night, sponsored by our YMCA. I had promised Jeremy we could carve pumpkins this year instead of painting them, and decided that the mess may as well be contained at the Y, rather than my kitchen. Jeremy quickly decided actually carving a pumpkin wasn't as much fun as he thought it would be after I cut off the lid to the first one and he saw the goop inside.

He had a great time painting his pumpkin, with a little help from Brooklyn, while Kadon and I carved the other two.

This is about mid-project, it got much more ornate after this...

The guts were pretty gross, but at least they smell good. I even managed *not* to get covered in goop!

Kadon was my assistant.

We attended the trunk-or-treat at our church building, the biggest event of the season for us. I got the kids dressed up, and tried to get a few pictures before we left. I had a heck of a time getting Kadon to hold still--Sir Wacks-a-lot was so excited to get his sword after weeks of waiting that he wouldn't' stop waving it around long enough for photos.

The other two behaved marvelously, letting me get several shots of their costumes.

As per usual, all the costumes were homemade this year. It's hard to tell in these pictures, but Brooklyn had a felt and wire tail sewed onto the back of her pants that bobbed when she walked around. I wish I had thought to take a picture of her from behind, because it was super-cute!

The 'M' on Jeremy's costume turned out to be one of the most difficult part of the entire process. I really wanted it to be 'just right', and I ended up having to draw it myself on a large piece of paper, then transfer it onto fabric, cut it out, and sew it onto the felt. I am nowhere near approaching anything resembling an artist, so this was the hardest part for me.

He seemed to be pleased, and tried to take a chomp out of himself.

In this picture you can see the tail on Brooklyn's costume peeking out from between her feet. She also wouldn't stop putting her pitchfork in her mouth all night, but it was still cute.

This is not a tricky photo-that is actually red hair....erm, horns.

The trunk-or-treat is also the only night that I dressed up. I had a dress that Mary helped me make especially for this costume, but when it came time to put it on, I decided it really didn't fit properly. I'm narrower through the ribs and waist then the dress was fitting, and wider throughout the hips and rear. All in all, I think the dress looked terribly foolish--but about the time I had given up and decided to wear white pants and a t-shirt with my wings and halo, I realized I'm officially small enough to fit back into my wedding dress. I weighed the pros and cons of wearing my precious dress as a costume, and decided the opportunity to wear it out in public again--even as a costume--was too much fun to deny.

It was a lot of fun, even if I spent at least half the night carrying my small train around. Everybody got a kick out of our costumes, and all the little girls in the building were enthralled with my super-glittery hair. I swear, I used at least half a bottle of the glitter hairspray on my helmet-head!

We have two sister missionaries in our ward, and I absolutely adore them. These two sisters and I got extremely close this summer, and they were at my house at least once or twice a week, sharing a meal, or a message, or simply chatting about life in general. I'm so grateful for the chance to know these women--they're kind, thoughtful, funny, and make my life richer just by being a part of it!

This beautiful sister went home a few days after this party, and I miss her fiercely. Thankfully, now that she's home we can email, catch up on Facebook, and talk on the phone. I still miss her, and she threatens daily to move back and live in my basement. I promised to have clean sheets on the bed for her.

Well, that's it for today. After such an absences, there are many more stories and pictures to share. I'll try to be more on top of the sharing....