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Dad Gone Mad
Read the December 11th entry. (Smattering of language and general irreverance. Bear with me. )
Get out there, and comment!!
Oh, and Merry Christmas.
(blech)
Friday, December 12
Monday, December 8
Play-Doh
These pictures are actually from several weeks ago, but I still couldn't resist sharing them. This was one of those rare days when I didn't have anything that desperately needed to get done, and the children were all miraculously pleasant. We had a great time playing with Play-Doh that day, and I took photos of our creations.
Jeremy admittedly looks a little weird in this picture, but he's at that stage where it's difficult to get him with a 'normal' smile. He poses for the camera, and comes out a little freaky looking. It's a testament to his genes that even with that smirk, he's still adorable.
This is Jeremy's creation. I'm told that it's a lava pool. The brown surrounding it are large rocks, and the orange bits are cooler bits of lava.
Kadon and I worked on this one. I started off with one of the molds and my favorite colors. I got a couple cute creatures, and then Kadon caught on and decided I needed to make several more. Soon it was a full-blown creature factory. Once I used up all the purple doh, I decided that the creatures needed a pond and boulder to complete the scene.
My creatures up close. We kept calling them walruses, but I'm really not sure exactly what they're supposed to be. At any rate, they're cute and they kept us entertained for at least half an hour. What more can you ask of an afternoon?
Jeremy admittedly looks a little weird in this picture, but he's at that stage where it's difficult to get him with a 'normal' smile. He poses for the camera, and comes out a little freaky looking. It's a testament to his genes that even with that smirk, he's still adorable.
This is Jeremy's creation. I'm told that it's a lava pool. The brown surrounding it are large rocks, and the orange bits are cooler bits of lava.
Kadon and I worked on this one. I started off with one of the molds and my favorite colors. I got a couple cute creatures, and then Kadon caught on and decided I needed to make several more. Soon it was a full-blown creature factory. Once I used up all the purple doh, I decided that the creatures needed a pond and boulder to complete the scene.
My creatures up close. We kept calling them walruses, but I'm really not sure exactly what they're supposed to be. At any rate, they're cute and they kept us entertained for at least half an hour. What more can you ask of an afternoon?Saturday, December 6
Bright Blue Eyes
I took these pictures of Brooklyn the other day at the cemetery. I love how she looks so grown up and mature in these pictures. It's been so easy to keep Brooklyn my baby--both because she actually IS my baby, and because she's so tiny. She's still a mere 18+ pounds at 14 months old, so she's still very portable and holdable. She's also very attached to me--as I am to her--so we share a special bond. It is photos like this, though, that remind that my little girl is growing up right before my eyes.
Not the sort of Daddy's girl portrait I always had in my head, but we have to work with what we have.
Not the sort of Daddy's girl portrait I always had in my head, but we have to work with what we have.
Friday, December 5
When I Miss Him
At 4am when Kadon wakes up vomiting all over his bed, himself, and the bathroom. It takes two parents to clean up this kind of mess, and we used to tag team really well.
At 5am when Kadon wakes up with diarrhea so severe that it runs out of his diaper, down his legs, and pools and the floor outside the bathroom. Again, a second parent to tackle the mess would have been good.
At 5:30, 5:45, 6:00, 6:30, and 7:00 when Kadon is back up with more diarrhea, and I have to clean the bathroom floor more times than I can count. Thank goodness for Clorox wipes.
At 7:30 when all three kids are up, and as I lay in bed feeding the baby, and the sounds of both Jeremy and Kadon having tandem diarrhea in both upstairs bathrooms fills the house.
At 8:00 when I finally send all three kids downstairs, lay back down, and pray for at least 20 minutes of sleep. A husband to keep them downstairs would have been nice.
At 8:10 when I hear Kadon crying in the bathroom downstairs, and give up on sleep for the night. He has a vicious rash on his bum from the excessive poop-wipe cycle. I apply ointment.
At 8:40 when I'm trying to feed Brooklyn, who still has some mysterious ailment, and she is fussy in her high chair. Kadon has diarrhea again, and I have to leave her in the chair to tend to him. Having a husband to help Kadon while I attend to the baby would be great.
At 9:00 when Kadon starts screaming about his bum again, and I apply still more ointment.
At 9:15 when I call the nurse hotline and give her all the information, only to have her tell me that it's a virus, and needs to run its course. I suspected this, but it sucks.
At 9:55 as I'm typing this entry, and I have to get up once again to usher Kadon to the toilet, change his shirt for at least the 5th time since 4, and clean up more vomit from the floor. Having a husband to hug me and tell me it's going to be alright would be helpful.
It's going to be a long, long day.
At 5am when Kadon wakes up with diarrhea so severe that it runs out of his diaper, down his legs, and pools and the floor outside the bathroom. Again, a second parent to tackle the mess would have been good.
At 5:30, 5:45, 6:00, 6:30, and 7:00 when Kadon is back up with more diarrhea, and I have to clean the bathroom floor more times than I can count. Thank goodness for Clorox wipes.
At 7:30 when all three kids are up, and as I lay in bed feeding the baby, and the sounds of both Jeremy and Kadon having tandem diarrhea in both upstairs bathrooms fills the house.
At 8:00 when I finally send all three kids downstairs, lay back down, and pray for at least 20 minutes of sleep. A husband to keep them downstairs would have been nice.
At 8:10 when I hear Kadon crying in the bathroom downstairs, and give up on sleep for the night. He has a vicious rash on his bum from the excessive poop-wipe cycle. I apply ointment.
At 8:40 when I'm trying to feed Brooklyn, who still has some mysterious ailment, and she is fussy in her high chair. Kadon has diarrhea again, and I have to leave her in the chair to tend to him. Having a husband to help Kadon while I attend to the baby would be great.
At 9:00 when Kadon starts screaming about his bum again, and I apply still more ointment.
At 9:15 when I call the nurse hotline and give her all the information, only to have her tell me that it's a virus, and needs to run its course. I suspected this, but it sucks.
At 9:55 as I'm typing this entry, and I have to get up once again to usher Kadon to the toilet, change his shirt for at least the 5th time since 4, and clean up more vomit from the floor. Having a husband to hug me and tell me it's going to be alright would be helpful.
It's going to be a long, long day.
Thursday, December 4
Balloon Release
I took a few pictures at the grave site yesterday when we released the balloons. It didn't work as well as I had planned, between the fading balloons and the heavy pictures inside, only about half of them floated out of sight. All the same, it was a touching tribute.
Visiting Ammons grave site is always hard. It's sobering to look at a hard, cold patch of ground and know that his earthly body is entombed there. No matter that I know that his spirit lives on and is with me still, I miss his earthly body--and all that I shared with it--as only a wife can. To think of it there, underground, undoes me every time we're there.
We cut the strings off in an effort to make the balloons a little bit lighter. I wish it had worked better than it did, but the meaning was still there. The kids were very cute about it.
All in all, yesterday was actually not as difficult as I feared it would be. It was hard, to be sure--but it didn't send me into the spasms of grief that I had feared. I thought about Ammon all day, just like I normally do--but it was more of a wistful 'I wish it were different' than anything else.
Visiting Ammons grave site is always hard. It's sobering to look at a hard, cold patch of ground and know that his earthly body is entombed there. No matter that I know that his spirit lives on and is with me still, I miss his earthly body--and all that I shared with it--as only a wife can. To think of it there, underground, undoes me every time we're there.
We cut the strings off in an effort to make the balloons a little bit lighter. I wish it had worked better than it did, but the meaning was still there. The kids were very cute about it.
All in all, yesterday was actually not as difficult as I feared it would be. It was hard, to be sure--but it didn't send me into the spasms of grief that I had feared. I thought about Ammon all day, just like I normally do--but it was more of a wistful 'I wish it were different' than anything else. I miss him. So very much.
Wednesday, December 3
Happy Birthday, Babe
There are now words for today, at least none that are sufficient for the emotions that I feel. Today is my sweethearts 29th birthday.
This is a photo of his first birthday. He was moments old in this picture, and the inquisitive, sober look in his eyes tells the story of the man he would become.
It takes a special man to celebrate your birthday by wearing a large plaster fish head. Remember this dinner, babe? You chose McGraths Fish House in Layton, and your fish-hating wife struggled to find something to eat. I finally settled on breaded and fried prawns. They're pretty close to shrimp, and it surprised me how excellent they were. This was also Jeremys first exposure to fish. He ate halibut from your Dad's plate by the mouthful. It was hilarious. Remember in later years, when you would buy crab legs and share them with the boys? Kadon liked it okay, but it was really Jeremy that shared your passion. I think you turned 24 in this picture.
For your 25th Birthday, I went all out. I spent weeks contacting nearly everybody that you had ever been close to. Many of them you hadn't spoken to in years, and it took some work to track them down. I invited as many as possible to a surprise party, and asked the rest to send cards. I sent you out Christmas shopping with your Dad, and you swore that I actually fooled you. You seriously thought I would let your birthday pass without making some sort of fuss?
As you sat in the chair, surrounded by friends and family and opened the box of cards, it dawned on you what I had done. Each new card brought tears to your eyes, and you wiped them away without shame. You lived in the past briefly, and I am so grateful to have given you that chance. That box of cards is still in your dresser drawer. It was a wonderful way to celebrate your birth.
How many ice cream cakes did you consume over the years, love? Between you and your mother--it always took very little persuasion to produce a reason to have an ice cream cake. I so appreciate your passion for the things you love. Of course--that passion usually translated to something good for me, so how could I complain?
This is a photo of his first birthday. He was moments old in this picture, and the inquisitive, sober look in his eyes tells the story of the man he would become.
It takes a special man to celebrate your birthday by wearing a large plaster fish head. Remember this dinner, babe? You chose McGraths Fish House in Layton, and your fish-hating wife struggled to find something to eat. I finally settled on breaded and fried prawns. They're pretty close to shrimp, and it surprised me how excellent they were. This was also Jeremys first exposure to fish. He ate halibut from your Dad's plate by the mouthful. It was hilarious. Remember in later years, when you would buy crab legs and share them with the boys? Kadon liked it okay, but it was really Jeremy that shared your passion. I think you turned 24 in this picture.
For your 25th Birthday, I went all out. I spent weeks contacting nearly everybody that you had ever been close to. Many of them you hadn't spoken to in years, and it took some work to track them down. I invited as many as possible to a surprise party, and asked the rest to send cards. I sent you out Christmas shopping with your Dad, and you swore that I actually fooled you. You seriously thought I would let your birthday pass without making some sort of fuss?
As you sat in the chair, surrounded by friends and family and opened the box of cards, it dawned on you what I had done. Each new card brought tears to your eyes, and you wiped them away without shame. You lived in the past briefly, and I am so grateful to have given you that chance. That box of cards is still in your dresser drawer. It was a wonderful way to celebrate your birth.
How many ice cream cakes did you consume over the years, love? Between you and your mother--it always took very little persuasion to produce a reason to have an ice cream cake. I so appreciate your passion for the things you love. Of course--that passion usually translated to something good for me, so how could I complain?The kids drew pictures for you, and I wrote a letter. I plan to put them in balloons this morning, and we'll go to your grave site today to release them. The kids are absolutely confident that when you receive the balloons, you will pop them and take great pleasure in reading the letters and seeing the pictures.
I wish you could be here. I wish I had made a bigger fuss for your birthday last year. Had I known it would be your last, I would have. We had just moved here, but the kids and I went to the party store and got a banner, some streamers, and a silly hat for you to wear. I'm embarrassed to admit that it was almost last minute. I know we went out, just you and I, at a later date and got dinner and did Christmas shopping for your birthday, but even that didn't turn out as well as I would have hoped. We painstakingly selected a steakhouse, only to get there and discover it was closed. We ate at Subway instead.
Anyway, I miss you. You know that. Happy birthday, sweetheart. I wish we could have spent many more together like we planned. 28 isn't nearly enough.
Tuesday, December 2
Pickles and Puking
Brooklyn has been sick for the last two days. It started the day before yesterday with some diarrhea toward the end of the day, and by the time she woke up on Monday it was pretty full-blown (pun intended). By the time I left for class on Monday afternoon, she had been asleep for nearly three hours--and she had taken another two cat-naps on the couch by the time I got home just before 4 o'clock. She was sporting a low-grade fever yesterday afternoon, and took two more short naps on the couch before I put her to bed for the night at 7:15. She finally awoke for the day at 8:35 this morning, and then took two more short naps on the couch this morning. I'm about to put her in her crib for a longer snooze. In all this time, she's consumed very little. Yesterday she had almost nothing to eat outside of a little juice, a half a container of yogurt, and a few small bites of some plain pasta. Today her appetite seems a little bit better, but she's sleeping tons and generally really cranky. Hopefully she's on the upswing today, and her body can get the rest it obviously so desperately needs.
The next set of pictures is something you have to see to believe. And before you vultures ask, I did NOT put him up to this. Not every time my kids eat something disgusting is it my idea.
I'm not sure how it even started, but Jeremy decided yesterday that he wanted to drink pickle juice. Pickles used to be a passion of mine, but lately I haven't felt like eating them very often. I'm pretty sure Grandma is the one who let him do it the first time, and since she didn't see fit to stop him, I figured I shouldn't either.
Jeremy gets his adventurous eating habits from his father. Fellows Family Folklore tells the story of Ammons 'spaghetti sandwich' explorations, and I witnessed for myself his various creations, Fruity Pebbles and Pepsi among the most memorable. While not exactly a true combination, Peanut M&M's and Mountain Dew will also always come to mind when I think about Ammons food creativity.
In fact, I often got nervous when Ammon would request to make dinner. I can remember several times requesting that he 'just make it normal'. He'd do weird things to normal food. It didn't always turn out well.
I'm glad that Jeremy inherited this from him. Lately, I've been letting him explore more. I didn't get a photo of his graham cracker-tortilla combination. It didn't capture my attention nearly as much as this one, but it's still weird. He also dips everything in mustard. And I mean EVERYTHING. Carrot sticks, teddy grahams, apple sauce, vegetables, soup--EVERYTHING. He is SO much like his Dad.
The next set of pictures is something you have to see to believe. And before you vultures ask, I did NOT put him up to this. Not every time my kids eat something disgusting is it my idea.
I'm not sure how it even started, but Jeremy decided yesterday that he wanted to drink pickle juice. Pickles used to be a passion of mine, but lately I haven't felt like eating them very often. I'm pretty sure Grandma is the one who let him do it the first time, and since she didn't see fit to stop him, I figured I shouldn't either.
Jeremy gets his adventurous eating habits from his father. Fellows Family Folklore tells the story of Ammons 'spaghetti sandwich' explorations, and I witnessed for myself his various creations, Fruity Pebbles and Pepsi among the most memorable. While not exactly a true combination, Peanut M&M's and Mountain Dew will also always come to mind when I think about Ammons food creativity.
In fact, I often got nervous when Ammon would request to make dinner. I can remember several times requesting that he 'just make it normal'. He'd do weird things to normal food. It didn't always turn out well.
I'm glad that Jeremy inherited this from him. Lately, I've been letting him explore more. I didn't get a photo of his graham cracker-tortilla combination. It didn't capture my attention nearly as much as this one, but it's still weird. He also dips everything in mustard. And I mean EVERYTHING. Carrot sticks, teddy grahams, apple sauce, vegetables, soup--EVERYTHING. He is SO much like his Dad.
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