Visiting Ammons grave site is always hard. It's sobering to look at a hard, cold patch of ground and know that his earthly body is entombed there. No matter that I know that his spirit lives on and is with me still, I miss his earthly body--and all that I shared with it--as only a wife can. To think of it there, underground, undoes me every time we're there.
We cut the strings off in an effort to make the balloons a little bit lighter. I wish it had worked better than it did, but the meaning was still there. The kids were very cute about it.
All in all, yesterday was actually not as difficult as I feared it would be. It was hard, to be sure--but it didn't send me into the spasms of grief that I had feared. I thought about Ammon all day, just like I normally do--but it was more of a wistful 'I wish it were different' than anything else.
I miss him. So very much.
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