On the Road Again

Ammon and Russ officially left Utah early this evening. They are planning on stopping somewhere in Wyoming to spend the night tonight, and should arrive here in Dayton sometime Sunday afternoon. I know it will still be several days before I see my sweetheart, but simply knowing that he is on the road headed back to me is making the separation a little bit easier. I have to admit, I have felt pretty down today. It is starting to set in that we are permanently here in Ohio, and especially with Ammon being back in Utah this week I have done a lot of thinking and daydreaming about the familiar sights, people, and sounds that we left behind two weeks ago. I honestly feel that we were led here, and that this is where we are supposed to be, but today I'm wondering what we have done to our family. I'm wondering why we chose to transplant ourselves, why we chose not to find a job before we came, and why we have decided to throw our lives into upheaval for the next several months. Not the least of my concerns is knowing that we have a baby entering our home in a short 2 1/2 months. As eager as I am to have this pregnancy over with and enjoy our new family member, I am perfectly willing to let it take the next 2 1/2 months. During that time there is a such a monumental list of things to do that it boggles my mind when I try to contemplate the schedule allowed. As most of you know, I desperately wish to be in my own home, even in an apartment, among my own familiar belongings when Brooklyn makes her entrance. However, the things that it takes to get us into a home, namely a job, seem so far out of reach right now that I'm honestly getting frustrated. It seems silly to feel frustrated after a mere two weeks, most of which have been spent either traveling or busy with a reunion that has been in the works for years, but I am feeling the emotion nonetheless. I'm sure my current emotional state is blameable on several factors, but my most prevalent emotions right now are homesickness and loneliness. I know both of these things will pass in time, but tonight the weight seems heavy to bear.