Funeral Talk-Mary

Mary, Ammon's mother, gave the first talk at Ammon's funeral. She had requested that a proper eulogy be given, and she was the perfect person for the job. She did a good job giving a brief synopsis of the years that Ammon spent in mortality. This is the last talk from his funeral, and I hope that those of you who weren't able to attend the services have been comforted in some small way by being able to read the words that were spoken with so much love.


Coming of age in the 1960's and 70's one big concern Russ and I had was not adding to the population problem. We had been blessed with a boy and a girl so we decided we had our share and took steps to have no more children. We wanted a larger family though so we thought we would have our own little United Nations by adopting children from all over the world. Our naivete was abruptly ended as we discovered how difficult and expensive adoption was. After much heartfelt pondering, praying, and discussion, we made plans and arrangements to drive from our home in Dryden, NY to Salt Lake City Ut so Russ could have surgery to undo the surgery he had several years prior. That surgery was performed Dec 8, 1978. On Dec 3, 1979, much to the amazement of doctors and total delight of family, Ammon David Fellows was born. His personality began to emerge immediately. Right after birth he held his head up, eyes wide open to begin discovering the world around him. By 3 months he was laughing, a characteristic he brightly exhibited all his life. He called our cell phone from work on the Friday of his accident as we drove down to spend the night with his family, to tell us that we were going to have a fun evening and no one would be allowed to be grumpy.
Incredible as it seems, by the age of 2 (I have a journal entry dated March of 1982) he could blow his father’s trumpet and brother’s tuba enough to make a sound and could sing the first two verses of “I Am A Child of God” on pitch beautifully. In elementary school he played drums, then trombone then baritone as he learned to play the piano and continued singing. Later on in his teens, he composed music though never wrote it down and sang in a small rock band in Cache Valley UT.
As a young child he displayed a very strong will which often caused conflict but he used that will to develop physical strength. He loved stories of Samson, Moses, David and Goliath, as well as Ammon in the Book of Mormon. I wrote of him when he was 6 that he was well-coordinated and would probably grow to excel in sports. He took gymnastics and dance classes, played baseball and soccer, did tricks on his bike and skateboard and, later on, got into karate, wrestling, and weight lifting. This was when he started really developing his bulky muscular form. As a baby he had dimples in his shoulders. Later he could pop his arms out of his shoulder sockets but it became painful at times. We got a phone call from school one day when his gym teacher heard his arm pop out as he swung a bat and thought we should take him to get medical treatment. We had him started on physical therapy along with occasional pain medication to try to strengthen his shoulder ligaments. His powerful shoulder and neck muscles were where he felt stress the most and often had pain which would shoot up into his head. Nearly every year that he attended Boy Scout camp, he returned home on crutches after spraining his ankles. As he got larger in adulthood, his feet ultimately gave out on him. After surgery and efforts to east the pain, he ended up on disability. Given the option of just accepting permanent disability support from the government, he chose instead to get temporary assistance to go through schooling to work with computers, a love and interest he had always had. He was really good at it. Early in his life he surpassed his dad with his computer skills and went on to become our family expert. We all turned to him when we had any computer problems or questions.
In February 1988, I recorded in my journal that Ammon had begun entering coloring contests and won every one that he entered. He had a real artistic eye that even extended to one of his greatest loves in life- cooking. As a teenager and early in married life, he worked at a couple of restaurants but his love of cooking started earlier than that. The one household chore I could always count on his willingness to help with was cooking. As a child home sick from school, he preferred watching cooking shows and even infomercials which often resulted in his begging me to send for cooking tools and gadgets. His creations were always works of art.
In the midst of the turmoil of his teenage years, on the eve of his 16th birthday, he came out of his bedroom late at night as I was preparing for bed, wanting to talk to me. He told me of his feelings of wanting to be able to control himself independent from the influence of others. He was afraid of showing sorrow or compassion because he felt it might be a sign of weakness. He avoided allowing himself to feel someone else’s pain out of fear that it might unduly influence him. As a result, he badgered and belittled his younger sister out of what he felt was love. In his way of thinking, he was trying to toughen her up as he was trying to be tough himself. Whenever I cried, he got angry because he didn’t want to let himself feel the pain.
But Ammon still loved to laugh. He loved playing games and was very good at them. Gordon B. Hinckley, our prophet who recently died, said that life is to be fun. He said “live is to be enjoyed not just endured”. He wants us to laugh more than cry. So does Ammon.
Friends were so important to Ammon. After moving with us, by his choice but not happily, to Utah in 1996, he started working washing dishes in a restaurant. He saved his earnings and bought a train ticket to return to NY to visit his friends. After graduating from Skyview High School in Utah, he went to Marine boot camp, returning after only 2 weeks because of his shoulders. Eventually he moved into an apartment with friends and tried working at Wal-Mart. He started getting to know a girl from Richmond that he hadn’t noticed when they both attended high school.
On July 3, 2000, Ammon carried out the best decision he made in his life. He married Victoria Lynn Preece. In an effort to be good parents, we had tried to teach Ammon honesty, the necessity of being willing to work well, compassion, the love of music and reading, taking care to have a healthy body, the importance of completing tasks, showing love and giving service to others- all the characteristics that make us like our elder brother, Jesus Christ. But it is truly after we leave our parents’ home that we fully become the independent person the world comes to know. Often our spouse is a major influence in the fine tuning of our ultimate character. Such is the case with Ammon. He and Victoria went to school together in southern Utah then moved back to Cache Valley with the intent to continue schooling. On Jan 15, 2003, Jeremy Nicholas was born. Ammon was the most tender, caring father. He was awed by this new little person who was part him and part Victoria. He struggled to find a career so he could fulfill his responsibilities as husband and father. A position with Taco Bell took their little family down to Riverdale, Utah and on March 22, 2005, Kadon Russell was born. Another job change resulted in the sudden and traumatic end to the work he was doing so well. There was an abrupt move back to Cache Valley as Ammon ended up on disability and finally graduating with a degree in computer web design. Last summer Ammon’s family moved in with us in Dayton where he immediately sought a job while caring for his pregnant wife and two sons along with helping to work on the 100-year old house we are rehabilitating. On Oct 4, 2007, sweet little Brooklyn Celeste was born. Ammon soon got a wonderful job offer here in Cincinnati and after a short while commuting from Dayton, they had an opportunity to move to affordable housing closer go his job.
Just after Ammon’s 19th birthday, he received his patriarchal blessing. In this personal scripture to him, he was told that in pre-mortality, he chose to come to the family into which he was born. He was blessed with many gifts and talents as well as weakness, with a strong mind and body and broken heart of repentance. Now I quote, “When your life is complete you will find peace and happiness, and look toward the Lord and have full commitment and devotion to him.” At the time he received the blessing I had no idea that the completion of Ammon’s life would be so shortly coming to pass. Everyone here has had the opportunity to witness some part, large or small, of Ammon’s 28 years, 4 months, and 7 days of mortal life. When we are ultimately reunited with him we will all have the complete picture of the compassionate, sensitive man he is. His children will know their tender, caring father. His wife will rejoice to be exuberantly clasped in the arms of a loving husband. For eternity we will be blessed by his willingness to serve and his great intelligence to know how to help. But most of all, we’ll be able to laugh with him again.