Public Service Announcement

I'm feeling impressed to step onto my Life Planning soapbox. I really sincerely hope it's just a fluke and that none of my readers have a reason to hear this nudge, but I've ignored this impression before-almost exactly one year before Ammon died-and I won't let anybody else pay the same price that I have if I can help it.

The bottom line is this: Get your Will and Life Insurance taken care of.

Almost exactly one year before Ammon died, I felt prompted to secure life insurance for him. Prophetically, I felt no urge to insure myself-but I felt a pressing need to get a good amount of insurance on his life. He and I were a poor, struggling college family. I was pregnant with Brooklyn, and we were preparing to move cross-country from Utah to Ohio. I spoke with him about it several times, but it was easy to convince ourselves that we couldn't afford the money every month to plan for a future we couldn't conceive of.

I wish, desperately, fervently, and almost daily that I had heeded that prompting. I daydream often about what my life would look like today if I had.

Within a month of Ammon's death in April of 2008, I had finally secured life insurance and a legal Last Will and Testament for myself. Here is what I learned along the way:

Life Insurance-
Get the very most you qualify for. Many insurance companies also offer a plan that will allow you to increase your life insurance by a percentage every year-in my case it is 10%. Take it-the increase to your premium is negligible, but the benefit increase adds up greatly over the years. It is not possible to have too much life insurance-it simply doesn't exist.

Get life insurance on each one of your children. I know it sounds morbid, but children die. The cost for a funeral alone is staggering-the obituary, the cemetery plot, the casket, the cement foundation for the burial plot, the cemetery diggers to prepare the plot, the funeral home to handle the cremation or embalming-these things are staggeringly expensive. Add in missed time from work, travel expenses for those family and friends that don't live near, hotels for incoming guests, and it quickly reaches into several thousand dollars-all spent in the space of a few days. My children each have a maximum benefit of $25K. It seems like a lot, but it would quickly be spent in the event that I would need to collect it for one of them.

My life insurance is due every May-I begin getting notices in February and March stating my full premium for the year. I reserve a portion of my tax refund-again, in my case it is usually about $500, and I pay the premium for my life insurance (and the children's) for the full year. I never have to think about my life insurance, or wonder where the money is going to come from every month-I pay it every spring, and rest easy knowing it is taken care of.

This goes together with my first point-secure as much life insurance as possible. There are limits to how much life insurance you are eligible based on your income. As a single non-working mother, I am not eligible for as much as I would like. As an only parent, I will not feel comfortable until I have at least 500K in life insurance-the amount that each working husband and father should have on himself. Right now I have about 375K, which will increase when I renew my premium this spring. I will also re-evaluate this amount when I graduate from school and begin working. Let me repeat-it is impossible to have too much life insurance.

With my life insurance, there is a clause that will allow me to forgo the premiums for a period if I am seriously and/or terminally ill. I can't remember if I am also allowed to withdraw some portion of my benefit-I need to check into this. Ask lots of question, get all the information you can.

Last Will and Testament-
This is not a living will. A living will, to my understanding, covers mainly medical decisions if you are not able to make those decisions for yourself. A Last Will and Testament is a final will-the will that divides your assets (including life insurance) property, and any minor children in your care. A will does not have to be expensive. I got mine online, at LegalZoom. It cost me less than $100, and about an hour of my time. It's an easy process-I answered a fairly long series of questions, reviewed what the program recommended, and paid for it. Within a few days, I received my will in the mail, complete and completely legal. I had to get it notarized-a simple procedure that can be completed at your bank for free.

My will is three-deep with everything. I have a primary, a secondary, and a tertiary beneficiary, executor, and guardian. Keep this is mind when you are assigning a guardian for a young child-although your Mom or Dad, or your husbands, might seem like the best choice-what is their reasonable life expectancy? Most grandparents are well past an age where they would be able to care for young children on a permanent basis. Most of you know that I love my in laws dearly, and trust them with my children regularly. However-based on their age, they are my tertiary guardians for my children. Both my primary and secondary guardians would have to be killed or otherwise be unavailable before my in-laws would get custody of my children.

Again, in my case I chose to assign the executor (basically the person in charge of all your belongings), the guardian for my children, and my beneficiary to be the same person. This will become an enormous burden should I ever die. She will be in charge of everything-my finances, my burial, my children, my possessions, my debt, and my life insurance. I spoke with her at length about this during the whole process, and she and I both feel that although the burden would be huge-it's easier and makes more sense for one person to have all the responsibility. There is less chance for miscommunication or problems to arise if one person is in charge of absolutely every aspect-both the assets and the problems. It makes solving problems much easier.

This is another seldom thought of fact-it is important to check the laws for the state the you live in. A common decision is make minor children the financial beneficiaries of any life insurance. I chose not to do this, because oftentimes if a minor is named a beneficiary, the money then goes into a trust fund until they turn either 18 or 21. Sometimes this money can be accessed by a guardian in specific amounts to be used for the children's care, sometimes it can't. Also, if there is more than one child, it becomes necessary to figure out how to divide the money fairly. What if you have a child that develops serious medical problems, and needs more money? I decided I would rather have the entire lump sum go to the guardian of my children-I trust her to spend it wisely and use it for their care.

Another situation that may arise-my chosen guardian originally gasped when I informed her of how much life insurance I have. Her husband makes a good income, and they could arguably take on my three children without a drastic strain on their life. However-in the event that I were to die prematurely, I don't want my children to be a strain on another household. I want them to be able to live in a house that is large enough. I want them to be able to take piano lessons, family vacations, and have a car when they're teenagers. Even a family who is willing and able to take in extra children would be hard-pressed to come up with these types of things without a substantial payout in life insurance.

Talk to people about your decisions. Talk to everybody. It is a common known fact that my life insurance papers are in my fire safe. Everybody knows what it looks like, and they know where it is located inside my house. As a side note-under the bed or in a closet is not the best place for your fire safe. While the safe will not actually burn, if they are in a place where everything around them is burning (a bed, clothes, blankets, etc.) it is possible that the papers inside a fire safe will get hot enough to disintegrate without the safe burning. Mine is stored in the basement, away from all the furniture and toys. If I were to ever decide to move the fire safe, I would inform my family of the new location. Also, my family knows where my copy of the key to my fire safe is, and my mother in law has her own copy stashed at her house should mine be unavailable.

Speaking of copies-when you get your life insurance paperwork every year, along with your will, make copies. Each of my guardian/beneficiary/executor has a copy of my will and life insurance paperwork. Legally-they are no good. They are simply photocopies of my originals, but they are more easily accessible than the copies I have, and could therefore be useful.

Talk to your children. I know this is a tough one. My children have had the unfortunate experience of losing a parent suddenly, and I mentally kick myself every time I remember the times we assured them that nothing would ever happen to Mommy or Daddy. It is developmentally appropriate for a Kindergartner or 1st grader to wonder "What will happen to me if Mommy and/or Daddy die?" Answer these questions. In my opinion, it is dangerous to make blanket life or death statements. Assuring your children that Mommy or Daddy will never leave them is a promise that cannot be kept, and will leave them more heartbroken than they need to be in the event that it is broken. My children know that I may die-but they also know that I will do everything I can to stay safe, take care of my body, and be healthy so that I can stay with them as long as possible. It doesn't have to be a morbid discussion-but it should be discussed on an age-appropriate level. Also, it's important to discuss with your children what will physically happen to them if their parents die. My children know where they will live, and they know that there will be enough money to take care of them. They don't know numbers, and they aren't aware that there is insurance on them. I don't think those things are important-just that they know that if something were to happen to me, they will be taken care of.


For the moment, this is all I have stewing around in my brain. Please, don't put these things off. I know we all feel young and invincible-so did my husband when he woke up April 11th, 2008. We never know when death or tragedy will come knocking at our door. Take a few minutes and discuss with your spouse what type of policy you need, and re-evaluate the policy you have if you've already gotten one. Take a hard look at how much you have-and do not forget the value of a stay at home mom. Daycare is pricey, and a grieving spouse will often takes weeks or months off of work in the beginning to cope with the rapid changes. The last worry you want at this time is a financial one. Take my advice-get this taken care of today. You'll never regret it if you do, you could regret it every day for the rest of your life if you don't.