Sunshine and Snow

As always, the sun came out, at least metaphorically speaking, this morning. Actually, it started to poke it's rays around last night, and its warmth was a welcome distraction from the pain I spent most of the day wallowing in. It's been a long time since I had such a grief-filled day. I had worried, in some small compartment of my brain, that that meant I was getting over his loss and betraying him somehow. I know now that yesterday was a reminder that his loss is still with me-it still hurts, I still long for him, and I haven't forgotten him. I hate that it has to be painful to feel those things, but I suppose it's the name of this game.

It snowed last night, just enough to give us snow to play in, and enough for me to shovel. We're all getting bundled up to head outside, and I'm going to spend some time just 'being'. The sad day I took yesterday hasn't completely worn off, but it's bearable now. I'm grateful for that.