Pumpkin Patch Express

Just for the record, Blogger has a new format for uploading pictures onto my blog. I don't like it. I had the old system worked out, and knew how to get my pictures in order. This way might actually make more sense, but it's backward from what I'm used to.

Therefore, I don't like it.

Moving on.

Last Saturday, the kids and I went on the Pumpkin Patch Express, a historic train about 40 minutes north of Cincinnati, with Russ, Mary, Angela, and her kids. We caught the train in Lebanon, rode 45 minutes, and spent an hour at a small farm. Then we hopped back on the train and rode another 45 minutes back to the station. It was a lot of fun, and I'm especially grateful that the kids got to experience riding a train, something I've never even done before!

Because I couldn't figure out the new picture system, these pictures are all out of order. This is actually at the farm, halfway through our trip.

The kids each got to select a pumpkin to take home, and though Jeremy lobbied for this one, he was declined.

I asked Angela to take this picture of Kadon and I, thinking he would smile sweetly for the camera and I'd get a tender shot of the two of us. The child foiled my plans with his snarl, and I think it turned out pretty cute anyway. That's my Kadon, always a ham. He was actually pretty cranky on this trip, but only to the other adults. He was fine with me, but was quite surly to Angela and Mary. I've noticed he does that sometimes, and I'm not quite sure how to combat it because generally I don't notice that it's happening until somebody else tells me.

There was an open air car on the train that we all enjoyed riding on for at least part of the trip. It was a bit chilly, and that car ended up being crowded both directions, but the sunshine was lovely after several days of rain in the area.

It has been so lovely to have family near, with kids that are close enough in age to enjoy spending time together. Thanks for the lovely day, guys!

Visitors

Ode to Fleas

Oh, how I hate you.

You make my dog itch

and my kids see black specks

You get in my carpet.

and infest my dog.

I hate your little bodies

and your legs that jump high.

I dropped too much money

on ridding the house

of your infestious presence

and I'm kicking you out.

We're fogging,

we're spraying,

we're washing,

we're soaking.

If you know what was good,

you'd just leave today.

General Conference

I know I have many readers of this blog that are not members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Many of you are aware that I am a member, but I'm sure there are a few that aren't. I have tried to remain carefully non-confrontational when I discuss my faith here because I feel it is more important to share my journey with grief honestly and openly, than risk losing readers by making my personal blog a missionary tool. I still feel that way. I don't wish to alienate the loyal non-member readers I have by preaching about a gospel that has sustained me through the worst loss of my life. To have each of you know that it HAS, in fact, sustained me is enough.

Most of the time, that is.

This past weekend was a glorious spiritual feast for me. Every six months, the leaders of our church-including the living prophet-gather together in Salt Lake City, Utah, and broadcast five meetings. They are each two hours in length, with two each on Saturday and Sunday, and the fifth session being held Saturday night. The fifth session is focused on the men in our church. The weekend before General Conference, there is a similiar meeting focused for the women in our church, which I attended. To Latter Day Saints outside Utah, conference can be viewed either in a broadcast at their local LDS church building, or can be accessed on the Internet. I was grateful to be able to enjoy the inspiring talks from the comfort of my couch, and thoroughly enjoyed immersing myself in my faith for two days.

When I heard this talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, it made me squirm in my seat. He gave the single most powerful testimony of the Book of Mormon that I have ever heard. I have embedded a clip here, and I hope that whatever your religious stance-you will take the time to view it. It's a powerful testimony, and even if you don't feel the same, his faith is a beautiful thing to witness.

The reason for my squirming?  Have I done the same?  Have I gone forth, before the world, and declared my testimony not only of this book, but of this church? 

I know that posting this video, and this testimony, on my blog is not declaring anything before the world.  But it's a start, and it's a reminder to myself to be more open about my faith.  I think oftentimes I don't want to be seen as a zealot, or alienate my friends and neighbors by 'pushing' my faith on them, and that hasn't changed.  I do feel the need to declare this, though:

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I believe with all my heart that Joseph Smith went into the woods to pray, and God and Jesus Christ appear to him.  I believe that was he was directed to find and obtain the Plates of Brass, and that from those he was able to translate modern day scripture-the Book of Mormon.  This book, these words, are true.  I base my life around its teachings, and find unspeakable comfort in its passages.  There are now true ways about it.  Each of us has the right and the obligation to make our own religious choices, and I would be remiss to remove that choice.  It doesn't change the truth of this book, or the truthfulness of this church. 

I know it. 

Now you know that I know it too.

Two

My baby, my angel, my sweet little girl. Today, you turn two. At this time two years ago, your brothers were getting ready to meet you for the first time. You were a much anticipated addition to our family, the finishing touch on our beautiful portrait of love. I cherished my pregnancy with you. Amidst the nausea, the insomnia, the fatigue, and the general aches and pains of pregnancy, I knew it would be my last. I held you close in my womb, and was simultaneously reluctant to part with you, yet undeniably eager to hold you in my arms and to feel your warmth against my chest.



In two years, you have grown into a beautiful, charming little girl. You are still my baby. Perhaps you will always be my baby. Your tiny stature doesn't help your case there, today you tip the scales at slightly less than 26 pounds, and still fit comfortably in the curve of my arm and on my hip. You have recently started running, and trying to jump. Your words are getting more plentiful, and have been strung together many times into sentences. You're passionate. You make your wants and your desires known. Loudly. Emphatically. Theatrically, at times.



I delight in your emerging abilities and independence, and mourn the passage of days past. For so many reasons, leaving your babyhood behind means leaving behind a life that used to be ours. I wish, so much, that your Daddy could see you today. I wonder what kind of relationship the two of you would have had. I wonder if he would have been able to be tough with you, like he was with your brothers when they warranted it, or if he would have been putty in your capable hands, leaving me to mete out the discipline. I search within you for glimpses of him, knowing that if they are there, they will be present purely through the genetic link that you share with him.



You are right handed, my angel. I hoped against hope that you would pick up my recessive gene and join the ranks of lefties, but you foil me. Your eyes share the same gorgeous blue of your oldest brother, your hair the same golden shade. You are undeniably beautiful, but the spirit shining through your eyes intensifies what your body has given you.


I'm so grateful to have you, Brooklyn. It look me a long time to decide I wanted a daughter, so immersed I was in all things boy, but you have been a balm to my soul. When the ache of missing and longing, wishing and dreaming, in the last 18 months has become too intense, I have gathered you closer to me. I hope I haven't placed too heavy a burden on you, sweetheart. You glisten with happiness today. You shimmer with promises of greatness, and the possibilities of the life you have ahead of you.

Thank you for letting me mother you. Thank you for coming into my life and enriching it. We are all blessed to have you part of us. Watching your older brothers interact with you has been an education in tolerance and love. They are alternately irritable with a pesky and meddlesome little sister, and tender of her feelings and desires. To watch you gleefully wrap your arms around them when they get home from school, and the concerned look in your eyes when they walk away from you warms my heart from top to bottom, and back again.

I love you, Princess. Happy Birthday.

Basement-Midpoint

This picture was taken as I stood at the top of the stairs, in the doorway that leads into the kitchen.
At the bottom of the stairs, I stopped and took a photo straight ahead.

Then, I turned around and maneuvered so I could get a shot of my food storage area. There is a utility sink that you can barely see along the bottom edge of this picture, and my washing machine is directly underneath the stairs.

For this picture I stood a little bit further out in the room, and took a picture of the same area. On the right edge you can see the water heater, with the furnace next to it. The washer and dryer are separated in this basement, which took a bit of getting used to. The strip of carpet is nice when the basement is cold and I have to do laundry late at night!

Okay, for this shot I basically turned around and took a shot of the right side of the room. Over here I have my little 'office' of sorts.

This is the bookcase that you could just see the edge of in the previous picture.

For this picture I stood against the far the wall and took the long shot to the other end of the room. To the left you can see the furnace, and along the right edge of the picture are the toys that were in the picture I took at the bottom of the stairs. The stairs are just beyond the left edge of this shot.

For this picture I stood basically where the green rug was in the previous picture. My food storage is the other side of the wall that the tall bookcase and microwave cart are. That wall didn't exist before, but my landlord decided to put it in the break up the space a little bit. I didn't like the idea at first, but now that it's in I'm grateful for the division between my laundry/storage and the television area.

This is a shot back toward the other end of the basement. For some reason, I don't have pictures of the spare bedroom down here. You can see on the right side of the far end of the basement that there is obviously a room next to the laundry area, the bookcase that I pictured before is on the wall of the bedroom. I'll try to get some pictures taken and posted soon.

At the point these pictures were taken, the walls had been hung, the ceiling drywalled, carpet laid, and everything primed. Since then, I have painted the walls and ceiling, and am extremely pleased with the homey feeling it created downstairs. I haven't decided yet what to do with the bedroom area that is in desperate need of some color, but the budget for paint has run out. Maybe in the spring...

Basement-Before

To really, truly appreciate the 'after' pictures of my basement, you must first appreciate that this is the before:Everybody banded together to get the job done, including my landlord (in the khaki's) and one of the young men in the ward that my landlord hired to do some work at the house.
Another man in the ward, brother to the young man, did a large amount of the work, including painting the entire upstairs in colors of my choice, along with odd jobs that are too numerous for me to mention.

I literally couldn't picture myself living here with the basement in this state, and may not have taken the house if the landlord hadn't agreed to let Russ hang drywall before I moved in.

I'll try to post the 'middle' pictures tomorrow. It's a transformation I'm proud of, though I had little to do with it other than request that it be done.

Missing?

I've been seriously considering a blogging vacation. I've also been seriously considering making my blog private.

It's just gotten to be a little bit of a chore lately, and I'm not sure what to do about that. In many ways, it's been an excellent journal for me these past few years, and I can't imagine stopping altogether. On the other hand, I don't need any more things to stress me out every day.

I'll definitely keep my readers posted on anything I decide to change, but in the meantime here's a brief snapshot of what we've been up to lately:

First off, the long-awaited day finally came: Kadon started preschool!

See? Even Mommy is excited!

We're using the same school as last year, and were even lucky enough to get the same teacher. She's been such a saint, and we were heartbroken at the end of last year, thinking we wouldn't get to see her again. I was so thrilled to walk into the classroom and hand him off, completely assured that he would be in loving and capable hands.

This one is just because he's so darn cute!

Last night, the kids and I drove to Dayton to celebrate my sister-in-law Angela's 29th birthday. Again. *ahem* Anyway, it was a beach-themed party in honor of a trip she took to Dominica a few years ago. This is the cake that some of her friends put together, and I can attest that in addition to looking beautiful--it tasted pretty good too!

While we were waiting for Angela to show up, Stacey put on some music. We discovered that even Grandma isn't immune to the influence of Bob Marley!

We also enjoyed some pina colada's, with club soda instead of rum. Not quite as relaxing as the real thing, but nice nonetheless.

Finally, the guest of honor arrived! In the hour that we spent waiting for her to arrive, we devised one more trick--we thought it would be funny if instead of walking into a surprise party, she walked into the remains of an already-over surprise party. We put some cake crumbs and used forks on a plate, smashed some crackers on the counter, and crumpled a few napkins. A few half-consumed drinks laying around, and the scene was complete. We all filed out into the backyard, and when Angela arrived, she was told that we had all tried to surprise her, but couldn't wait around anymore. After a few minutes of letting Stacey squirm through her lie, the guests burst in through the back door. It was a great success!

It was so much fun to spend the evening celebrating with friends and family. In this picture are Stacey, who helped organize the party, myself, and Angela. Icky friends forever!

Another friend of Angela's, Joi, had flown in to spend the week with Angela. We were able to get her in on the plan at the last minute, and I think she had fun meeting everybody.