Cinco De Mayo

So tonight the kids and I decided to head out for Cinco De Mayo and get some Mexican food. Earlier in the day, a friend of mine came over with her kids, and since her husband is actually Mexican, I asked what they were planning. Much to my surprise, they had absolutely nothing planned. Thus, a plan was hatched to meet for dinner tonight at Mexican restaurant that none of us had tried. I left the house this afternoon at about 3 o'clock, and the kids and I went to the YMCA, then stopped at the store on our way to Los Cabos. When we got there, I had a few minutes to kill before my friend and her husband showed up, so the kids and I hung out in the car while I fed Brooklyn. When the princess was done eating, I marched confidently into the restaurant and requested seating for four adults and five kids, including a high chair for Brooklyn. As we started sitting at the table, my friend had still not arrived, but I confidently surveyed the seating arrangements and mentally seated everybody in my mind. There were two square tables pushed together, and I envisioned the four adults sitting together on one table, with the four children sitting at the other end. The scheme seemed perfect.....until I realized that my family is a party of four now, no longer a party of five. It hit me like a ton of bricks that there would only be three adults in attendance tonight, not four. Tonight made me wonder, how long are my married friends going to want to spend time socially with me? How long will it before I become just another sad reminder of what happens to 'other people'? I hate that I'm no longer half of a whole. Now, what you see is what you get. Tonight, I barely got to eat dinner because Kadon started to come down with a fever and wanted to sit on my lap. Brooklyn was also demanding the meal that was rightfully hers, so I was forced to comfort Kadon with one arm and feed Brooklyn little pieces of spanish rice with the other hand. My dinner went mostly untouched in front of me, and I ended up boxing it up to bring home. I sorely missed Ammon tonight, not that it's much different than any other night. Coming home to an empty house is never going to get any easier, I don't think.