Going On

I haven't been blogging much lately. I haven't been emailing, calling, or talking to people often, either. There is a constant amount of work involved in the care of these kids, and it's draining. There has also been a flurry of activity in the last couple of weeks that has been enough to keep me running most days. About 1 1/2 weeks ago my good friend Laura arrived for an extended weekend trip. She flew into the Columbus airport on the Friday before Mother's Day, and on my way to the airport in heavy rush hour traffic, I rear ended another vehicle on the interstate. I had glanced over my shoulder to check my blind spot before a lane change, and by the time my eyes were forward again another car had slammed on the brakes and I had no time to stop. Admittedly I have been distracted in the past few weeks, but I honestly don't feel as though the accident was avoidable. Unfortunately, my drivers license and registration on my van still reflect my Utah residency, so I was ticketed for those offenses along with following too closely and causing an accident. Russ and Mary met me in Columbus, and deemed my van capable of limping back to Cincinnati and directly into the repair shop. On Saturday Laura and I spent most of the morning dropping off the van at the body shop and picking up a rental car, but after that we were able to have a really nice visit. In fact, the days that Laura was here were among some of the best I have had in the last 38 days. I felt almost human while she was here, and I miss her a lot.

The Sunday that Laura was here was Mother's day, and it was draining, sad, and lovely. It was also the 1 month anniversary of Ammon's death, and church that day was difficult. Mary and Russ came down and helped the boys prepare a nice breakfast, and the day wasn't as bad as I had feared it would be. On Tuesday I returned Laura to the airport in Columbus, then spent a couple hours at the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles to get my Ohio drivers license. On Wednesday the kids and I tried to catch up on housework, and by Thursday afternoon we were on our way to Dayton so that the kids could spend Friday with Russ while Mary, Brooklyn, and I traveled back to Columbus to appear in traffic court. A mere $185 later, we were on our way back to Angela's house where the boys were sent off on the annual father/son campout (Russ took my boys) and the girls enjoyed an evening free of testosterone.

Saturday afternoon found me back in Dayton car shopping with Janice, which turned out to be a frustrating and un-productive experience. A woman in a car lot is not every salesman dream, and instead of talking to me about warranties, features, and financing he spent time telling me about stereo systems, color, and moon roofs. Needless to say, I will be making my purchase through a different dealer. I'm also going to try to get my home teacher to go with me, because apparently to be taken seriously I am going to need to have a man at my side.

We have our orientation for the children's counseling center today, and I'm feeling very apprehensive about it. I know that it will be good for the kids, and they need the support of adults and children who understand what they are going through. Me? I just need a break.