Crying

Jeremy has started a pattern of crying every night at bedtime. Everything is fine while the boys change into pajamas, go potty, and say prayers. Some nights I have time to read stories to them, sometimes I don't. After we do hugs and kisses and I turn out the light, he's usually getting started within about ten minutes. His crying is the deep, hiccuping kind of cry that tears my heart out. When I go into his room, he can only sob "I miss my Daddy, I want Daddy back". I'm so unsure about how to deal with this. Part of me is tired, cranky, and depressed after another long day of trying to slog through my grief. That part of me wants desperately for the children to simply go to sleep so that I can disappear into the Internet or the television and wile away the hours until I can go to sleep. The other part of me aches for my oldest child, and the loss of his best friend. Ammon and Jeremy have always been two parts of a whole, two peas in a pod, kindred spirits. When I reach boiling point and my frustration level peaks with my precocious five year old, it's always been Ammon to talk me down and tell me exactly how to handle the situation. How are we going to mange without him? How do I handle the grief of my children when I feel as though I can barely get a handle on my own?