Swimming

I took the kids to the pool at the local YMCA today. It was fun, even though Brooklyn refused to get into the water above her knees, and I had to yell at the boys repeatedly to stop running. I'm grateful that the baby pool is in a fenced in area, which gave my boys much less opportunity to evade my eyes. Tomorrow I'm planning to go out to lunch with some girlfriend's, which should be a lot of fun. Slowly, I'm trying to resume some sort of normal life. Now that the shock of Ammon's death has worn off, and reality is starting to set in, I fear that if I sit still too long, I won't be able to get up again. Tears are always a moment away, and a particularly poignant memory will reduce me to sobs in a moment. Really, I'm kind of a roller-coaster to be around. I wish I could get off this crazy ride.